Thursday, September 30, 2010

Trip to the ER

last weekend we babysat for the trotter's. we thought we had brought everything back with us, but realized sometime after we returned home that kyle's phone was dying and we'd left his charger. the phone finally died on tuesday night. while at he was taking his school break at my parents house the next morning, i called him and told him to grab his charger before he came home that night. after hanging up i thought to myself, "what if there was some kind of emergency and addison or i had to go to the hospital and i had no way of reaching kyle? what would i do? maybe call the school and have them patch me through to him?"

how ironic that i would have this thought and that very night need to drive myself to the hospital, praying that my baby would be okay. at 6:30 i burned the potato soup i was preparing for dinner and after trying to fix it, had to open the doors to air out the nasty smell that was incredibly strong. i told addison that she could look outside but not go out or she would step on bugs (she has a fascination with bugs). i went to the computer to try to find fixes for burned soup. every two minutes or so i would get up to check on addison and make sure she was not outside. at 7:00, about the third time i stood up to check on her, i felt a sensation and thought i had lost control of my bladder. i held still and focused on controlling it and was surprised that i could not hold it at all. i looked down and saw the carpet had dark spots on it and thought, "oh great i got it on the carpet." i put my hand there and about a cup of blood poured into my hand.
i ran to the bathroom and knew that things like this just don't happen to me. i tried calling my mom, wondering if i should go to the hospital or reach my doctor first. when she didn't answer, i called my doctor and left a message with the answering service for him to call me back. i started cleaning up my mess when my mom called back. i called my dad and we decided while i wait for my doctor to call, i should head to the hospital. i threw clothes on myself and addison and ran out the door.
on my way to the hospital, my doctor finally called me and after i described what happened he told me that i lost a significant amount of blood. he said that much blood could indicate a placenta previa and if my condition was bad enough, he would have to deliver my baby that night. i was terrified. the next morning, i would be 30 weeks, and a baby born ten weeks early can have significant problems, if the baby survives. i was shaking the whole way to the ER, trying not to cry again. i couldn't believe how slow the hospital staff moved when i told them what was happening. even though i was taken to a triage room within thirty minutes of arriving at the ER (about 8:45), the staff all acted so nonchalant, which made me want to scream at them. i finally was hooked up to monitors and many fears were relieved just by hearing my baby's heartbeat since she hadn't been moving this whole time.
kyle finally made it to the hospital around 9:30 after he came home and learned i was at the hospital. grandma brown, my mom and my dad were all there too. after being monitored for two hours, an ultrasound to check for placenta previa and other problems, and many questions that proved i was in perfect health, i was released at 11:00 and put on bed rest. the doctor and nurses couldn't figure out why i bled at all. this morning i called and made an appointment for tomorrow with my doctor's office to see if i can come off bed rest. bed rest has been awfully tedious for just one day, but i could do it for the rest of my pregnancy if i had to.
my aunt jenell said, it isn't until something like this happens to you that you realize just how attached you are to your unborn baby. the whole time this was happening, all i could think about was how i just wanted to hold my baby and know everything would be fine. even though i haven't met her yet, i couldn't imagine not having her and i am so thankful heavenly father protected her from many complications that could have made the situation much worse. and even though i never want to go through this again, i am thankful that it happened. i think i take for granted my easy, uncomplicated pregnancies and healthy babies, both born and unborn. i now have a small sense of what mothers who fear for their sweet babies go through during complications. i know everything heavenly father lets us go through in life can be a learning experience, and it already has for me as i have heard other women's stories, ending in either tragedy or triumph, since my small trial. hopefully the rest of my pregnancy continues uneventful, but even if it doesn't, i know that i will have my family and my heavenly father to turn to. i love addison and i love this baby mac so much already!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

"Thank You"

addison was such a big girl today. we took her for a well check at her doctor's. she hasn't been in months and is behind in shots and we put her on a schedule to catch her up. she was terrified of the nurse who listened to her heart and checked her ears, nose and throat. i don't understand why she is so scared, nothing they did hurt her, but you'd never know what by the way she screamed!

the doctor sent us to get some blood work for addison. in the lobby of the lab, addison was happy go lucky. running around chasing a ball. a group of teenagers watched her and commented on how cute she was. when her name was called and kyle picked up addison, the teens laughed and one said, "how sad, she doesn't know what's coming. she's so happy right now." i had to smile. i was very nervous for her, but knew she'd be fine.

the technicians asked kyle to sit on a chair with addy on his lap and as soon as he did, she started screaming as they came toward her. kyle held her down as they tied the rubber string around her little arm. i could tell she was terrified again, but this time, she was actually going to get an ouchy and i was feeling so bad for her. they swabbed her with alcohol and then inserted the needle. neither the pitch or volume of her screams changed because she was already screaming as loud as she could at this point. lastly they put a cotton swab and medical tape on her arm and she was done.

as i tried to calm her down and tell her what a big girl she was, kyle told her to say "thank you" to the technicians. "da-doo" she sobbed to them. that about broke my heart. i felt so bad that i made her go through this painful experience.

i told my parents later this story, and my dad laughed and said how sad it was that she was told to say thank you to the people that hurt her. it's true, kyle was mean to have her say that, and i will never forget her sweet little voice crying as she said "da - doo" through her tears.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Baby Steps

starting august 25th, i decided to quit addison on the bottle cold turkey. i was so fed up with how much milk we were going through and how she never seemed to be full. i thought that maybe she would also stop her once a night cry for a "baba" as well. because she still needs milk everyday, i started giving a smaller amount to her in a sippy cupright after i would feed her solid food. the first two days were the worst as i expected, crying for her bobbi, but she is much better now. addison still has a long way to go with solids - how did i get such a picky baby? it has been fun to see different ways to coax her to take bites of her food. at first we told her if she wanted down off the high chair then she needed to take a bite, but that only would work for two bites in a meal. then she was told if she didn't want a flick in the mouth she would eat. sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. i realized i needed to dangle a carrot. so we started telling addison that if she wanted to sing a song, she would need to start eating and that seemed to work until last week when i guess even that got old. lastly, we've also been able to distract addy by asking her questions about the room as we popped things in her mouth. now it looks like we will have to start the cycle over again. hopefully things will get better as time moves on.

for some reason, she liked mixed veggies a.k.a. - green goo. she ate this all by herself! woohoo! (living in a basement means it's hard to have enough light to take decent pictures of a moving baby, thus much blur. ugh.)