Trip to the ER

last weekend we babysat for the trotter's. we thought we had brought everything back with us, but realized sometime after we returned home that kyle's phone was dying and we'd left his charger. the phone finally died on tuesday night. while at he was taking his school break at my parents house the next morning, i called him and told him to grab his charger before he came home that night. after hanging up i thought to myself, "what if there was some kind of emergency and addison or i had to go to the hospital and i had no way of reaching kyle? what would i do? maybe call the school and have them patch me through to him?"

how ironic that i would have this thought and that very night need to drive myself to the hospital, praying that my baby would be okay. at 6:30 i burned the potato soup i was preparing for dinner and after trying to fix it, had to open the doors to air out the nasty smell that was incredibly strong. i told addison that she could look outside but not go out or she would step on bugs (she has a fascination with bugs). i went to the computer to try to find fixes for burned soup. every two minutes or so i would get up to check on addison and make sure she was not outside. at 7:00, about the third time i stood up to check on her, i felt a sensation and thought i had lost control of my bladder. i held still and focused on controlling it and was surprised that i could not hold it at all. i looked down and saw the carpet had dark spots on it and thought, "oh great i got it on the carpet." i put my hand there and about a cup of blood poured into my hand.

i ran to the bathroom and knew that things like this just don't happen to me. i tried calling my mom, wondering if i should go to the hospital or reach my doctor first. when she didn't answer, i called my doctor and left a message with the answering service for him to call me back. i started cleaning up my mess when my mom called back. i called my dad and we decided while i wait for my doctor to call, i should head to the hospital. i threw clothes on myself and addison and ran out the door.

on my way to the hospital, my doctor finally called me and after i described what happened he told me that i lost a significant amount of blood. he said that much blood could indicate a placenta previa and if my condition was bad enough, he would have to deliver my baby that night. i was terrified. the next morning, i would be 30 weeks, and a baby born ten weeks early can have significant problems, if the baby survives. i was shaking the whole way to the ER, trying not to cry again. i couldn't believe how slow the hospital staff moved when i told them what was happening. even though i was taken to a triage room within thirty minutes of arriving at the ER (about 8:45), the staff all acted so nonchalant, which made me want to scream at them. i finally was hooked up to monitors and many fears were relieved just by hearing my baby's heartbeat since she hadn't been moving this whole time.

kyle finally made it to the hospital around 9:30 after he came home and learned i was at the hospital. grandma brown, my mom and my dad were all there too. after being monitored for two hours, an ultrasound to check for placenta previa and other problems, and many questions that proved i was in perfect health, i was released at 11:00 and put on bed rest. the doctor and nurses couldn't figure out why i bled at all. this morning i called and made an appointment for tomorrow with my doctor's office to see if i can come off bed rest. bed rest has been awfully tedious for just one day, but i could do it for the rest of my pregnancy if i had to.

my aunt jenell said, it isn't until something like this happens to you that you realize just how attached you are to your unborn baby. the whole time this was happening, all i could think about was how i just wanted to hold my baby and know everything would be fine. even though i haven't met her yet, i couldn't imagine not having her and i am so thankful heavenly father protected her from many complications that could have made the situation much worse. and even though i never want to go through this again, i am thankful that it happened. i think i take for granted my easy, uncomplicated pregnancies and healthy babies, both born and unborn. i now have a small sense of what mothers who fear for their sweet babies go through during complications. i know everything heavenly father lets us go through in life can be a learning experience, and it already has for me as i have heard other women's stories, ending in either tragedy or triumph, since my small trial. hopefully the rest of my pregnancy continues uneventful, but even if it doesn't, i know that i will have my family and my heavenly father to turn to. i love addison and i love this baby mac so much already!

"Thank You"

addison was such a big girl today. we took her for a well check at her doctor's. she hasn't been in months and is behind in shots and we put her on a schedule to catch her up. she was terrified of the nurse who listened to her heart and checked her ears, nose and throat. i don't understand why she is so scared, nothing they did hurt her, but you'd never know what by the way she screamed!

the doctor sent us to get some blood work for addison. in the lobby of the lab, addison was happy go lucky. running around chasing a ball. a group of teenagers watched her and commented on how cute she was. when her name was called and kyle picked up addison, the teens laughed and one said, "how sad, she doesn't know what's coming. she's so happy right now." i had to smile. i was very nervous for her, but knew she'd be fine.

the technicians asked kyle to sit on a chair with addy on his lap and as soon as he did, she started screaming as they came toward her. kyle held her down as they tied the rubber string around her little arm. i could tell she was terrified again, but this time, she was actually going to get an ouchy and i was feeling so bad for her. they swabbed her with alcohol and then inserted the needle. neither the pitch or volume of her screams changed because she was already screaming as loud as she could at this point. lastly they put a cotton swab and medical tape on her arm and she was done.

as i tried to calm her down and tell her what a big girl she was, kyle told her to say "thank you" to the technicians. "da-doo" she sobbed to them. that about broke my heart. i felt so bad that i made her go through this painful experience.

i told my parents later this story, and my dad laughed and said how sad it was that she was told to say thank you to the people that hurt her. it's true, kyle was mean to have her say that, and i will never forget her sweet little voice crying as she said "da - doo" through her tears.

Baby Steps

starting august 25th, i decided to quit addison on the bottle cold turkey. i was so fed up with how much milk we were going through and how she never seemed to be full. i thought that maybe she would also stop her once a night cry for a "baba" as well. because she still needs milk everyday, i started giving a smaller amount to her in a sippy cupright after i would feed her solid food. the first two days were the worst as i expected, crying for her bobbi, but she is much better now. addison still has a long way to go with solids - how did i get such a picky baby? it has been fun to see different ways to coax her to take bites of her food. at first we told her if she wanted down off the high chair then she needed to take a bite, but that only would work for two bites in a meal. then she was told if she didn't want a flick in the mouth she would eat. sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. i realized i needed to dangle a carrot. so we started telling addison that if she wanted to sing a song, she would need to start eating and that seemed to work until last week when i guess even that got old. lastly, we've also been able to distract addy by asking her questions about the room as we popped things in her mouth. now it looks like we will have to start the cycle over again. hopefully things will get better as time moves on.

for some reason, she liked mixed veggies a.k.a. - green goo. she ate this all by herself! woohoo! (living in a basement means it's hard to have enough light to take decent pictures of a moving baby, thus much blur. ugh.)

Lately for Each of Us

Kyle:

* has started his own window washing business - sun state windows. so far he has only had residential jobs, but his plan is to work his way to commercial buildings. he has a website he created for sun state windows, he posts ads on craigslist several times a day, and he is making business cards. i am so excited for him to finally own his own business, something he has talked about since we were dating. no longer is he "working for the man" as he puts it. kyle's goal to own a business before he turns 26? check!

* kyle was accepted in to asu's business school and just finished 15 credit hours of summer school with them, studying both semesters. a couple weeks ago he finished the second semester which we were both greatful for. the last week was very stressful with so many long papers and presentations to prepare. but even with all the stress he got straight A's. he especially needed the vacation to california. now he has started school for this fall and i just hope his teachers aren't too hard on him if this baby is born right in the middle of finals.

* it's so cute to see how much daddy loves his girl. addy is becoming more attached to him all the time and follows him wherever he goes. this first week of kyle's new job has really magnified to us how much she loves him. if he doesn't give her his full attention for 1/2 hour she's heart-broken with tears everywhere, and sometimes thirty minutes is not even enough. kyle is so good to her, singing songs, chasing her, and making up new games with her. seeing how great a father kyle is, it makes me sad to think of some people who don't have that kind of relationship with their dad. kyle is amazing.

* (this is a pic i took of kyle last night. he fell asleep while helping me fold clothes. isn't he's so funny?!) and speaking of amazing, that's what kind of husband he continues to be. being the oldest in my family i am very stubborn and outspoken, and kyle is so paitient with me. i can't always make him underdstand that my way is gospel, but no matter what he is great at hearing me out and letting my try to convince him. he is awesome at budgeting and keeps me in line. he studies hard and is very logical. he's the best provider for our family. puts addy and i first and is always concerned about our feelings. plus he is so funny, and if you're married you know how important that is for a marriage. love him to death!

Brittney:

* i am currently 24 weeks along with baby girl mckay #2. kyle and i are currently discussing names and will let you know our pick when she is born, so for the rest of the pregnancy i will lovingly call her "mac" short for "mckay". i am still feeling great - actually no pregnancy symptoms. for the first 16 weeks paranoia took over and i thought i had had miscarriages because there were no symptoms at all. sound great to be symptom free? not really. everytime i went to the doctor i was terrified they wouldn't find a heartbeat. i was scared until i started feeling faint movements at the end of week 19 and continuing to pick up since. so i predict mac will be a mellow girl (hopefully) as i look back on the way this pregnancy has been.

* school is probably a no-go for me since i am due finals week and classes are so full anyway. i really would like to take my next math course so i don't forget everything i learned in the spring, but none are available. kyle found an english class that starts late and ends early (perfect), but online registary says i need to retake the placement test or take eng 090. no thank you. i have actually already taken eng 101, but i was engaged that semester and had marriage on my mind, thus i got a C. kyle teases me everytime we talk about my grades that semester - all C's. so i'm behind and am playing catch up.

* i am starting to schedule photography sessions for the fall now. i took off the summer (you can do that when you are your own boss) since i was pregnant and didn't feel like melting in front of my clients - not very proffessional. i'm starting mid september and will book thru until thanksgiving. then i will have another break for the birth. i can't wait to start! to see my work and pricing visit my photography blog.

* currently (maybe it's nesting) i have had a strong craving for sewing. mostly repurposing old clothes into new clothes. that and holiday decorations. i have an all metal sewing machine that needs repair/tuning i'm not sure which. staying up into the early morning hours reading tutorials and saving pictures is becoming more frequent. i have been begging to get my sewing machine ready for use as an early birthday present (october 7th to mac's arrival might not be long enough for projects). anytime would be great i keep telling kyle. we have moved the furniture in our office around to make room for sewing/crafts. i'm going crazy waiting.

Addison:

* addison is so cute and i can't believe how much she is changing, especially in the last month. she now calls me "momma" instead of "mommy" which i am very sad about and currently trying to reverse. she loves her baby doll more each day (all on her own) and shares many hugs and kisses with her. she has learned how to take off her diaper. often when i get her up in the morning she is completely naked in her crib and playing. cute so far until i find a surprise (hopefully never).

* i am thinking about potty training her, but i know she is probblaby too young now. she is 18 months and i would love to have only one child at a time in diapers with the expectant arrival of our new baby girl in december. maybe that's too soon. possibly for her birthday in feb? the question i have running through my mind: what age works and how should i modivate her??

* she pointed to my tummy the other day and said "baby". i don't think she fully comprehends what that means, but it's so cute for her to say that. kyle and i have half-heartedly been trying to teach her this since early july and then when i don't probe, she does it on her own? so cute!

* addy is a very stubborn thing when it come to solid food. she hates it. kyle and i blame it on the thrush she got twice in a short time around her birthday. she ate solids great before that time and i would give anything for her to go back to that habit. she has a bottle all day now, and starves herself if i try to force anything else on her. solids she will eat: tortilla chips, plain chicken, cereal (of course, clone of daddy), and sometimes a banana. not much. i have tried the suggested fruit smoothies which she seems to like the taste but won't drink. does that even make sense? no. so i drink the whole thing myself. i dream of her someday eating dinner with kyle and i, not just watching us eat.

above: addison snuggles up to me on the computer so i can tickle her back with my free hand. she never stays in one position for more than two minutes, but rolls over so i can then tickle somewhere else.

* even though tickling has been a favorite in this family forever, addison is wanting it more and more. lately she lays on my lap and if i continue to just sit there she will grab my hand and put it on her back so i know she wants to be tickled. being tickled is the only thing she will hold still for and it's so funny. this past week, she sat on "mama"s mccleve's lap (that's how she says grandma - slightly different than my name "mamma"). my mom was tickling her skin and stopped for a second, so addison reached behind herself, took my mom's hand, and placed it back on her shoulder. just like her mommy and daddy and something i never want to forget!

L.A. Temple

While on vacation to California, we went to the L.A. temple on Sunday and got to see the newly renovated visitor's center. It was pretty awesome. They really took advantage of the many different technologies available today. One of my favorite things in the visitor's center was the Book of Mormon display. Each Book of Mormon had a chip inside so when you picked it up and waived it in front of the TV it would tell you what language it was in and even give you a verbal sample. There are many features they just installed that are unique to that visitor's center alone. A sister missionary told us they have the video "God's Plan For The Family" just like in Mesa, but L.A. has an extended version. The L.A. temple is beautiful and sits on a hill over looking much of the city. It reminded me of the scripture in Matthew 5:14 which says, "Ye are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hid."

I took this picture. Pretty amazing photography skills if you ask me.

I love this picture of the Angel Moroni. All credit goes to Brittney.

Daddy and Addy.

Together Forever!

Beach Time

i know i keep posting about california, but we did so many things there and i want to include everything! i lived in santa clara when i was young and as a result love two things about cali - farmers markets and the beach. we did see a farmers market on the way to the beach, but unfortunately it was gone when we drove back. just trash in the parking lot to show it had been there, and boy was i sad. but, we had a great time going to the beach. saturday we went and left addison asleep at the house. then on monday before we left to come back home, we went back to get some family pictures. i really missed addy on saturday, but we did have a blast and it was nice to not have to worry about where she was. i don't have a maternity suit, so i just wore my regular one. the usually cute swimsuit made me look overweight and not preggo and i definitely felt stares. all well. we found a ton of sand dollars and cool shells which is so fun for me. kyle said on our honeymoon to las palomas in mexico that i looked like a little girl fishing for shells. he thinks i look like a little girl in a candy shop, but i wasn't the only one looking. i had kirt and jennifer fishing for cool shells as well.

shawn rented boogie boards and everyone had fun riding the waves in to the sand. i just body surfed since i couldn't use a board and was able to ride one wave pretty far. to dry off, the mckay brothers and sisters tried to play a game of volleyball. when they realised they couldn't get two hits in a row, they switched to soccer and had a great game.
monday, we took addison. kyle took pictures of her feeling the sand as she walked around for the first time on a beach. her confused and excited face was so fun. then kyle took her to the water to experience the waves. i remember my younger sisters being terrified when they were addy's age and i expected addison to be scared as well. she really surprised me by loving it! we had to even grab her when she ran into the water with out us holding her hand. we will definitely have to go back soon. above: addison feeling the sand for the first time. below: addison loving the waves with daddy!

this cute pic was actually on the way home to az. addison wanted some of my fire cheetos and loved them as you can tell. for the entire seven hour trip, she only had a 30 minute nap right in the beginning and she did surprisingly great! love that face!

Picnic at the Park

saturday in california was spent enjoying the AMAZING weather, going to the beach, and having a family picnic - something residents of arizona would never try in august. shawn and neesha drove us fifteen minutes away from their home to a great park that we were told is very popular. the park is on a huge hill with a road that takes you all the way up to the top and has side streets along the way. we parked up top and were able to take in the gorgeous view all around. everyone brought blankets and jackets being from arizona and not used to the cold temps of 64 degrees and windy. we got a great spot with tables right next to a playground. perfect when there are three kids with tons of energy to spend!

this is shawn and dad grillin' for the family. we had burgers, grilled chicken, veggies/fruit and dip, homemade potatoe salad, chips, and pop - so great when your starving! dad is a great cook and really gets excited to share new recipes with me. he's like a kid in a candy shop when it comes to bargin shopping and cooking!above: neesha and maeli waiting for the food to be ready to eat. neesha is also pregnant and i am so excited to be pregnant with her. #3 for her is due in late march (she's about eight or nine weeks here). there will soon be five mckay cousins running around when we get together, i can't wait! below: kirt stacking his burger like an artist. above: bundled in cali's unusual cold spell for this time of year - loved it! and below is addison just being darn cute by saying "cheese" for the camera!