Some More Blubberings

every night i have vivid dreams and i know that i have had an increasing amount of dreams since i got married, but i think they have become even more real since i became pregnant. in the last month, i have had the most bizarre dreams that wake me up and i find myself asking "was that real, or did i dream that too. some of my dreams are about having baby addison, or going through the delivery, and others are just crazy and about people i haven't seen or talked to in a long time - some of them in years. last night was no different. i was tossing and turning and finally woke up to go to the bathroom. (for those of you that don't know, i am extremely lazy when it comes to my sleep and will do anything to prolong getting up. even if it is subconsciously.)

when i laid back down, i thought i was having contractions and asked my self if i should stay up for them to see if i could feel anything. i decided that i would rather sleep. (see what i mean about laziness?) i wasn't woken up at any other time during the night by a contraction, so i know that i only asked myself that question because i am so ready to have contractions and go to the hospital in labor. ugh! i hate waiting. i love being pregnant and have had no problems, but i am so darn curious of what my baby will look like and how she will act that i can't wait to meet her.

since i wake up regularly at night to go to the bathroom or to turn over to my other side, i am always asking myself if it is because i am going into labor. not yet. my contractions still aren't very strong or regular enough to deliver this baby. which makes me wonder if my body can even do it. i thought that i would feel some real but sporadic contractions by this time in my pregnancy, but no. so disappointing. man i wish she would come already. maybe she thinks that i don't quite have everything together and is waiting until i am more organized to come. well, if that is the case i will be pregnant for the rest of my life, because i know of nothing else i can to to prepare for her.

oh and for all those who are wondering about the mederma scar cream, i really think i am seeing improvement in the size and color of my stretch marks. (don't throw up please) they seem to be fading slowly but surely. the directions said to continue using it for eight weeks on new scars. eight weeks will be up march 17th, but i will probably continue to use it for a while after that with some skin tightening lotion. any suggestions?

hopefully i can "bounce back after baby". that, by the way, is the name of the third blog i started for myself. it is a joggers blog for pros and newbies alike. they have a calendar for each person and have you set up short term and long term goals and your reasoning behind them. i am not going to tell you my time frame in fear of not reaching my goal, but i will tell you the things i plan to do in my life in terms of running. run a half marathon, full marathon, and run a triathlon, and maybe to one or more of them more than once. i don't have any eating goals to go along with them because if you know me at all, i love to eat and i know i wouldn't be able to stick to something that punishes me like a diet. i'll eat healthier, but not go on a diet. my plan is to pretty much be a dang hot mama!

Pregnancy Blubberings

so pretty much kyle and i are cheap and love to be frugal (although he wouldn't agree that i am frugal because he complains about my grocery bill). kyle gets excited and makes us budget worksheets that are followed for a while until we forget about them and then he'll get excited and make another. we hardly ever go out to eat, mooch off our parents all the time - because hey, what else are they around for - and i used gift cards from our wedding to buy all of kyle's christmas gifts.

so when this past saturday came around and i suggested we go maternity clothes shopping, i was kinda surprised when he was okay with it. we headed out to the chandler mall and stopped only in barnes and noble book store before going to motherhood. i have always dreamed about being pregnant since i was little and loved playing with my baby dolls. i even was video taped trying to nurse my cloth baby doll by lifting my dress and placing her on my chest. now that i am really pregnant, i love dressing up and showing off my very pregnant belly. but, it's so hard to love being pregnant in non-maternity wear. well, i do have some, but they are a limited supply. because i have grown so huge in the last month, i was down to only four shirts for a seven day week. in fact, those four shirts aren't even maternity, they're baby doll style so they fit fine. i am tired of stretching out my nice non pregnancy cloths.
back to shopping. so we walked into motherhood and took everything off the clearance and sales racks that were size small. kyle was so sweet and helped me try on everything and put all of the hangers back on, something i hate to do. i asked him while trying on more shirts if he hated shopping and if he was wanting to bolt of of the store and he told me it wasn't his favorite thing, but he was ok and liked being with me. that sure made me love him a lot more.

we picked four items from the first go-around of the store and then went for a second. kyle probably thought there was no more to find and try on, but i found just as many shirts the second time. kyle was passing a rack and saw a dress that he fell in love with for me and insisted i try it on too. when we left, i had two new shirts and the dress kyle found - he wouldn't let me leave without it even though i went to buy shirts. he gets so funny sometimes. it made me laugh.

the next night, we ended up going over to grandma brown's and i got some more cloths from courtney. you may think i am dumb because i only have three and a half weeks left, but who doesn't want to look cute in the last inning? plus i have my shower coming up. and i plan on having another baby in the not too distant future.

maderma scar cream. i heard that it works for stretch marks so i bought some today and all i can say is that it had better work. i paid $23.57 for a 1.76 oz tube. i was so mad when i saw the price, i almost didn't get it. i text kyle and told him the ridiculous price and he said to get it. that's how bad he wants my stretch marks gone. remember how i said i got really big this last month? yeah, stretch marks. when people would ask me if i had any, i would say no because i could only see the upper half of my tummy. one night, about a week and a half ago, i got a hand held mirror and was so mad to see what looked like three little scars on the right side of my tummy, just below my belly button. i don't even want to say how many i have now, probably more than triple that first amount. and not all of them are staying so tiny. makes me want to cry. hopefully the mederma works.