Monday, February 9, 2009

Some More Blubberings

every night i have vivid dreams and i know that i have had an increasing amount of dreams since i got married, but i think they have become even more real since i became pregnant. in the last month, i have had the most bizarre dreams that wake me up and i find myself asking "was that real, or did i dream that too. some of my dreams are about having baby addison, or going through the delivery, and others are just crazy and about people i haven't seen or talked to in a long time - some of them in years. last night was no different. i was tossing and turning and finally woke up to go to the bathroom. (for those of you that don't know, i am extremely lazy when it comes to my sleep and will do anything to prolong getting up. even if it is subconsciously.)

when i laid back down, i thought i was having contractions and asked my self if i should stay up for them to see if i could feel anything. i decided that i would rather sleep. (see what i mean about laziness?) i wasn't woken up at any other time during the night by a contraction, so i know that i only asked myself that question because i am so ready to have contractions and go to the hospital in labor. ugh! i hate waiting. i love being pregnant and have had no problems, but i am so darn curious of what my baby will look like and how she will act that i can't wait to meet her.

since i wake up regularly at night to go to the bathroom or to turn over to my other side, i am always asking myself if it is because i am going into labor. not yet. my contractions still aren't very strong or regular enough to deliver this baby. which makes me wonder if my body can even do it. i thought that i would feel some real but sporadic contractions by this time in my pregnancy, but no. so disappointing. man i wish she would come already. maybe she thinks that i don't quite have everything together and is waiting until i am more organized to come. well, if that is the case i will be pregnant for the rest of my life, because i know of nothing else i can to to prepare for her.

oh and for all those who are wondering about the mederma scar cream, i really think i am seeing improvement in the size and color of my stretch marks. (don't throw up please) they seem to be fading slowly but surely. the directions said to continue using it for eight weeks on new scars. eight weeks will be up march 17th, but i will probably continue to use it for a while after that with some skin tightening lotion. any suggestions?

hopefully i can "bounce back after baby". that, by the way, is the name of the third blog i started for myself. it is a joggers blog for pros and newbies alike. they have a calendar for each person and have you set up short term and long term goals and your reasoning behind them. i am not going to tell you my time frame in fear of not reaching my goal, but i will tell you the things i plan to do in my life in terms of running. run a half marathon, full marathon, and run a triathlon, and maybe to one or more of them more than once. i don't have any eating goals to go along with them because if you know me at all, i love to eat and i know i wouldn't be able to stick to something that punishes me like a diet. i'll eat healthier, but not go on a diet. my plan is to pretty much be a dang hot mama!

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