No Labor Yet

38 weeks tomorrow! i went to the doctor today and he stripped my membranes for me. totally forgot to ask him what i was dilated to and now it's KILLING me curious! doc made an appointment for me to be induced at the hospital on sunday (december 5th) at 10 pm. so this baby will probably be born sometime monday morning. ideally, i will go into labor on my own, but having fears of recovering like last time, i'm fine with delivering a week and a half early.

addy was so funny at the appointment. she usually cries when the nurse takes my blood pressure thinking that they are hurting me, and sobs "MOMMY!" today, though she was very calm and kept a close eye on me, watching my reaction to getting my blood pressure taken. later, after doc left the room, addison, who watched everything the doc did, walked over to me and lifted the over sized napkin from my lap to see what the doctor was looking at! from her angle she could only see up to my knees, but it it made me laugh. kyle got embarrassed even though we were alone and told me to not let addison do that. it didn't bother me though, i thought addison mimicking the doctor was so cute and hilarious! when she saw me laugh, she started to laugh too and i had to kiss her.

so far today (11 pm now) i have jumped on the tramp and walked a little with no obvious change. i've had only two small braxton hicks contractions the whole day! i knew not to get my hopes up from my experience with addison when i still had to be induced almost a week after my membranes were stripped. hopefully i won't have to wait and go on pitocin!

Addison's Dress and Accident

i love having my sewing machine fixed! i found a tutorial online that teaches you how to repurpose a man's t-shirt into a dress and three weeks ago i made this for addison:she wore it to church today with some white stockings. it's not perfect, but considering i haven't made a clothing item since i was in fourth grade, i was pretty happy with it.addison went to church in underwear today! she's done with potty training, but has trouble going poops on the potty. she's very good at telling us that she need to go poo-poo, but when we sit her down on the potty she'll get a scared look on her face and say "no!" the poor girl has sometimes even held it for a day or so because she's so scared. i put a diaper on her and told her to to poops in that last week, but an hour later she still hadn't gone. then, out of the blue, she ran to me in the office yelling "POO-POO!" so we went into the bathroom. when she saw the potty she started shaking her head and crying. i told her to just go in her diaper she had on, but i think she was afraid of getting in trouble. she started running around the bathroom on her tip toes and crying, trying to hold it. i felt so bad for her, but she wouldn't listen to me when i told her it was okay to go in her diaper. then all of a sudden she stopped crying, bent forward slightly, and her face went dark red. she couldn't hold it any longer. the past three days have been much better and i think she understands where to go now.

today she wore her new dress to church with panties and stockings. kyle took her potty just before and after the second. after church they came and waited for me to finish talking to several people in the YW's room. then megan oliver got my attention when she asked me if addison was potty trained and pointed to addy. i looked over and to my disappointment saw a huge puddle on the carpet between addison's feet. she was looking at the puddle, like she was curious about it along with megan's two little girls. so kyle took her panties and stockings off and cleaned her up while i soaked up the nice little puddle addison left behind. after seven or eight trips back and forth from the bathroom i was done. of course everyone who walked past me was wondered why i was on my hands and knees and asked me what i was doing. i think the whole ward knows by now that my baby marked her territory in the church building. all well.
now on to happy news. i went to the doctor on wednesday and found out i was 85% effaced and 2 cm dilated! hopefully this time around, i'll go into labor early and on my own. in the above picture (taken today) i am 36 weeks, three days along. three and a half weeks left. at this point, baby mac is so big that i often have to push my stomach back in where she is poking out to relieve the uncomfortableness - is that even a word? i'm hoping she'll be no bigger than eight pounds. cross your fingers for me.sweet addison kisses are the best thing in life - i can't get enough.

Trip to the ER

last weekend we babysat for the trotter's. we thought we had brought everything back with us, but realized sometime after we returned home that kyle's phone was dying and we'd left his charger. the phone finally died on tuesday night. while at he was taking his school break at my parents house the next morning, i called him and told him to grab his charger before he came home that night. after hanging up i thought to myself, "what if there was some kind of emergency and addison or i had to go to the hospital and i had no way of reaching kyle? what would i do? maybe call the school and have them patch me through to him?"

how ironic that i would have this thought and that very night need to drive myself to the hospital, praying that my baby would be okay. at 6:30 i burned the potato soup i was preparing for dinner and after trying to fix it, had to open the doors to air out the nasty smell that was incredibly strong. i told addison that she could look outside but not go out or she would step on bugs (she has a fascination with bugs). i went to the computer to try to find fixes for burned soup. every two minutes or so i would get up to check on addison and make sure she was not outside. at 7:00, about the third time i stood up to check on her, i felt a sensation and thought i had lost control of my bladder. i held still and focused on controlling it and was surprised that i could not hold it at all. i looked down and saw the carpet had dark spots on it and thought, "oh great i got it on the carpet." i put my hand there and about a cup of blood poured into my hand.

i ran to the bathroom and knew that things like this just don't happen to me. i tried calling my mom, wondering if i should go to the hospital or reach my doctor first. when she didn't answer, i called my doctor and left a message with the answering service for him to call me back. i started cleaning up my mess when my mom called back. i called my dad and we decided while i wait for my doctor to call, i should head to the hospital. i threw clothes on myself and addison and ran out the door.

on my way to the hospital, my doctor finally called me and after i described what happened he told me that i lost a significant amount of blood. he said that much blood could indicate a placenta previa and if my condition was bad enough, he would have to deliver my baby that night. i was terrified. the next morning, i would be 30 weeks, and a baby born ten weeks early can have significant problems, if the baby survives. i was shaking the whole way to the ER, trying not to cry again. i couldn't believe how slow the hospital staff moved when i told them what was happening. even though i was taken to a triage room within thirty minutes of arriving at the ER (about 8:45), the staff all acted so nonchalant, which made me want to scream at them. i finally was hooked up to monitors and many fears were relieved just by hearing my baby's heartbeat since she hadn't been moving this whole time.

kyle finally made it to the hospital around 9:30 after he came home and learned i was at the hospital. grandma brown, my mom and my dad were all there too. after being monitored for two hours, an ultrasound to check for placenta previa and other problems, and many questions that proved i was in perfect health, i was released at 11:00 and put on bed rest. the doctor and nurses couldn't figure out why i bled at all. this morning i called and made an appointment for tomorrow with my doctor's office to see if i can come off bed rest. bed rest has been awfully tedious for just one day, but i could do it for the rest of my pregnancy if i had to.

my aunt jenell said, it isn't until something like this happens to you that you realize just how attached you are to your unborn baby. the whole time this was happening, all i could think about was how i just wanted to hold my baby and know everything would be fine. even though i haven't met her yet, i couldn't imagine not having her and i am so thankful heavenly father protected her from many complications that could have made the situation much worse. and even though i never want to go through this again, i am thankful that it happened. i think i take for granted my easy, uncomplicated pregnancies and healthy babies, both born and unborn. i now have a small sense of what mothers who fear for their sweet babies go through during complications. i know everything heavenly father lets us go through in life can be a learning experience, and it already has for me as i have heard other women's stories, ending in either tragedy or triumph, since my small trial. hopefully the rest of my pregnancy continues uneventful, but even if it doesn't, i know that i will have my family and my heavenly father to turn to. i love addison and i love this baby mac so much already!

Impromptu Vacation to Cali

this picture has nothing to do with the post, i just wanted to show you how much i am already popping out with sweet baby girl #2. i am 20 weeks 6 days here. finally i can wear maternity clothes! yeah!

yesterday kyle's parents left to california with colin, heather, and jennifer to visit his oldest brother shawn and his family. shawn and neesha moved to culber, california (near santa monica) in january of this year, and grandma and grandpa have already visited i think fives times. it is so nice to have them closer than indiana! it happens that kyle has a two week break from school right now and kirt is driving from florida all at the same time. so when kirt is rested -either late tonight or early tomorrow - the four of us will drive together to join the rest of the family in california! woohoo! today is cleaning, shopping, and packing day all rolled into one. can't wait for the beach!

We're Growing... By Two Feet!

get the title? i thought it was clever. this pregnancy is a surprise to most people, although some family could tell my tummy has been taking on a new shape for a couple of weeks - no matter how hard i tried to suck it in. two people that didn't notice, kinda funny, were both of our dads. they had to be clued in by our moms! so while kyle's family was quietly suspecting for two/three weeks, my family was calling at 12:30 am, constantly asking me many questions, and grilling me about if i was pregnant. so i lied. a lot. and i'm not sorry. i stopped going to my parents to avoid the questions, and then i got calls about that. but kyle and i like to wait for three months before telling anyone. it's fun to have a secret for a while. we found out back in april - while we were staying at my parents for a babysitting job down the street. at first i wanted to surprise kyle and tell him in some cute way. but, the minute he came home to me smiling, kissing him and telling me i loved him, he looked at me and said, "are you pregnant?". should i have been offended that he thought i was acting like that only because he suspected i was pregnant? don't i treat him like that everyday? maybe if i would've stopped to think about it, but i was in dreamland, having wanted to get pregnant since november of last year. i had begged and pleaded, cried, refused to talk to him, promised rewards, and anything else i could think of to no avail. all kyle could think of was how much we were spending weekly on formula and diapers. he told me that as soon as jesse and michelle got pregnant we could too. we had heard them say they wanted to wait until summer of 2011 - a year and half away.

i don't really know what changed his mind just four months later. maybe he was fed up with my whining, but boy am i thankful! my pregnancy with addison was, for the most part, a breeze. i got sick for three weeks early in the first trimester and for the duration had to be careful of what and how much i ate and drank. i only threw up four times. my mom said it wasn't fair. this time around it's even easier. no nausea or sickness at all - just tired. i know others who get really sick and have horrible pregnancies, and i am so blessed to have it this easy.

i am 20 weeks along - that's four and a half months based on a ten month pregnancy (how ob/gyns measure it) but not looking as a doctor, i'm five months. halfway there! and because i wasn't pestered at their house, kyle and i have been spending these last weeks at his parents house to avoid suspicion from my family. (funny since kyle's parents were also suspecting - at least they were quiet about it.)

we told kyle's parents saturday night so they could let everyone know on their weekly sunday calls to the rest of the family not in town. we told the whole mccleve family last night during brag time for FHE. last wednesday we had our ultrasound and sealed up the gender pics. i took them to the bakery and had a cake made with either blue or pink icing inside. (kyle and i didn't peek at the gender). so after we told my family at brag time, we announced that not only were we pregnant, but we were going to find out the sex of the baby for dessert! usually when someone announces they are expecting, you have to wait for months to find out boy or girl. it was so fun to have two surprises in one night.

we let my dad cut the cake and what do you know? the mccleve family curse is STILL alive. (six girls - no boys - in my immediate family and many girl cousins) we call it the mccleve curse although i know kyle is really to blame, the father always determines the sex. even though i have had dreams of blue icing, i really wanted a little sister for addison and i couldn't be more excited!! having all girls really isn't a curse and i hope they will be really close. two girls to dress up!

**edit: we only took video, but jenell sent me these pics from that night.

ok a vote right before my dad cut the cake to see what everyone thought we were having. a little more than half screamed "girl!" in the pic below, watermelon is being cut and eaten while people are waiting to find out. watermelon to me says mccleve family.the evidence:we are so happy to be welcoming another little girl soon!

Hair-Crazy!

today i have been surfing blogs and reading all about hair. that's right hair. i was on someones blog and that led to another, which led to another, and finally, another. so i saved the hair blog in my list of favs and then came across yet another blog about hair and hair bows. i saved it. i am dying to try their suggestions out, but alas, addison's hair is not even 1/4' long. sad day. sounds like my sisters will be having a slumber party at my house this weekend.
i have never been someone who likes to do hair, other than my own. (although since i first became pregnant, you probably thought i didn't even like that did you? i admit that's why i looked like a rag doll and finally cut my hair. NOTE: never cut your hair when pregnant if you want it to grow back before too long. even though long, lush hair is one of the many benefits of prenatals, the baby like to hog all the nutrients it provides. thus making sure your hair does not grow. END NOTE)
like i was saying, i have only really liked to do my own hair. beauty is time and sometimes pain, and i was always willing. i have begun to realize that I HAD A BABY GIRL therefore her hair - or lack of it - must be done everyday if she is to not look like an orphan. but what to do to her hair, or even mine? problem: i ran out of ideas and even forgot how to do the things i used to do to my hair. yikes! solution: thanks to the new blogging pastime, i found this woman who shares her ideas and even her "how to's".
but having a baby seems to suck your time away. so sorry if i have had offending hair i will do better. it takes about a month for new habits to develop, so hopefully i will be back to my pre-pregnancy self this summer. we will see....

ps. i would like to assure all those who have cut their hair will pregnant: have that baby and it grows right out! miracle!

pps. i will keep ya'll posted about how the hair party works out

My Body Is Mine Again!

i was looking at some old pics and can i just say that i am so glad to not be pregnant for a while?! i'm able to do normal things again like lie on my tummy. i was even swing dancing last night! (no jumps yet, but i did do a few lifts with kyle.) i did love it though and i will probably miss it before too long. but, yeah, my old body is back, well almost. i have some "war wounds" but that is just part of life, is it not? don't think i like them or anything, i have become best friends lately with mederma scar cream. it says it takes eight weeks to take affect, hopefully the label doesn't lie.
it time to start thinking about a running and eating routine. but don't think i'm stupid, i said i'll think about it right now. exercise right now? heck no! i still got three weeks of "rest and recovery" before i actually do anything.

FINALLY! The Wait is Over

we have our beautiful addison grace mckay!! (yes it did turn out that we with with addison even though kyle created a facebook group to get people to vote for their his favorite name, brooklyn). here's addy's story.

like i said, i had my membranes stripped on tuesday morning. i had many contractions that didn't get me any closer to having her. i was scheduled for an induction at seven thirty wednesday morning, but got a call around five saying that they were too full and they would call when they had room for me. i was pretty disappointed, but with kyle still so sick i thought that heavenly father was just trying to make it work out for the best for him. then i got a call just before three pm from the hospital saying that i could come in.

we arrived forty five minutes later and while we were waiting to be checked in, i walked the halls to try and speed labor up myself. i figured it just made sense since my body had done a pain free job of dilating so far.

i was checked in around five and hooked up to the monitors. i had to get my blood taken - which terrifies me because i hate needles. then they stuck me on my other arm and waited until they had given me a whole bag of fluids before they started me on pitocin at seven to make my contractions become serious business. it didn't affect me for a half an hour. i remember feeling the first contraction that wasn't painful, but really just more pressure and tightness. i was excited to feel what everyone called labor, but i knew that i would eventually ask for an epidural.

my contractions came and went for about forty five minutes before i talked to the nurse and asked her if my contractions would get a lot worse. i knew that if they didn't get too much more intense i could handle it without medication. (my thought in the middle of labor is if it doesn't get worse and i don't need medication, that would be a cool thing to brag about.) the nurse just smiled and told me the pain was going to get much worse. BRING ON THE EPIDURAL.

i had to wait about 15-20 minutes before the anesthesiologist was available, so of course that made the contractions seem much longer and more painful. but she finally showed and kicked everyone out except kyle and my nurse. when i get nervous or am in pain, i tend to make jokes about myself to try and make myself feel better. the nurse sure seemed to think i was funny, but i never felt too much relief until the epidural kicked in. it took about 30 minutes for it to take full affect. but don't worry, my contractions got lighter and lighter, and ten minutes into it, i didn't feel pain. modern day medicine is amazing. that's what i kept telling everyone.
after that, some of my family left and the rest of us fell asleep, with the nurse coming in every so often to fix a monitor, up the pitocin, or check dilation. poor kyle was so tired and let my mom do all talking for him (he still had sores in his mouth) and eventually went to sleep and let her do everything for me. at about 2:10 am, summer - my nurse - turned on the lights and woke me up to tell me that i was dilated to a ten and that my water had broke. after that, my sisters were kicked out, kyle was woken up, and nurses were everywhere. my mom got the camcorder ready and kyle grabbed the camera. i asked to have a mirror so i could see everything. (you have to understand that i have been waiting for this for years - reading pregnancy books and watching the birthing channel, there was no way i was going to miss this.)i started pushing with the nurse. it was crazy, the whole time i thought, "this is really it, i'm going to meet my baby. i'm the one having the baby this time, me". i was in shock. it was surreal, the whole experience. i could hardly believe it was happening, addison was finally coming. the nurse had me push for a few minutes and then called the doctor. he asked me to push when he got there and then said "whoa, whoa, stop!" in the mirror i watched him catch/pull her as a contraction pushed her out for me. (only thirty minutes of pushing and only 1/2 push with the doctor). then she was on my tummy screaming and i couldn't stop staring at her. i was in shock. she was my daughter. seconds ago she was in my tummy where i had known her to be for nine months and now i was meeting her face to face. i felt like she wasn't really mine and that the real parents were going to come and whisk her away. everything about her was amazing, but i mostly loved that she was a little part of me and a little part of kyle. i immediately noticed she had kyle's mouth and my eyes, swollen as she was. she was beautiful.

just a quick look at the facts:
name: addison grace mckay
born: thursday, february 19, 2009 at: 3:21 am
weight: 9 lbs 7 oz height: 21 inches
hair: dark brown

recovery for me has been great, although my mom thinks that i just have a high pain tolerance. i can sit down now (yeah!) and can walk at a decent speed (woohoo!). can't wait to heal up the rest of the way so that i can enjoy my husband and brand new baby girl to the fullest!

Time Is Ticking...

well, i still haven't had my baby girl yet, but maybe that's not a bad thing. on thursday night (feb 12) kyle got sick with a fever, backaches, chills, and a sore throat. every night since, he has steadily gotten worse, until finally on sunday he broke out with white looking chicken pox all over his tongue, gums, and lips. he can't eat anything salty or surgery because it stings his sores so bad. he is so miserable. if i had had the baby already i would've been scared to keep her at home with kyle being so sick. she is much safer inside my tummy. maybe addison and heavenly father know best when she needs to come.
but still, i went to the doctor today at noon. i am at least 5 cm dilated - probably more like 6 cm he said - and effaced like tissue paper. he told me i am ideal for delivering right now. so i got my membranes stripped and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning at seven thirty. i just have to make sure that the hospital isn't too full before i go. i have been having contractions since, closer than usual, but they aren't painful at all meaning they probably aren't the kind i need to put me into labor.
i really feel torn about going into labor right now. i want to so bad, but this is such a special time and i want kyle to be there feeling great so he can enjoy every minute of our first baby. i could be going walking and things to speed it up, but i feel so bad that kyle can't be part of everything. he just now told me though that he is feeling a lot better. (he has been taking prescription medication for strep throat as well as advil). he also just said that if i have the baby tomorrow, he thinks he'd be okay.
so i'm going to go walking right now with my mom, in hopes to start something for tomorrow. can't wait. wish me luck!

Some More Blubberings

every night i have vivid dreams and i know that i have had an increasing amount of dreams since i got married, but i think they have become even more real since i became pregnant. in the last month, i have had the most bizarre dreams that wake me up and i find myself asking "was that real, or did i dream that too. some of my dreams are about having baby addison, or going through the delivery, and others are just crazy and about people i haven't seen or talked to in a long time - some of them in years. last night was no different. i was tossing and turning and finally woke up to go to the bathroom. (for those of you that don't know, i am extremely lazy when it comes to my sleep and will do anything to prolong getting up. even if it is subconsciously.)

when i laid back down, i thought i was having contractions and asked my self if i should stay up for them to see if i could feel anything. i decided that i would rather sleep. (see what i mean about laziness?) i wasn't woken up at any other time during the night by a contraction, so i know that i only asked myself that question because i am so ready to have contractions and go to the hospital in labor. ugh! i hate waiting. i love being pregnant and have had no problems, but i am so darn curious of what my baby will look like and how she will act that i can't wait to meet her.

since i wake up regularly at night to go to the bathroom or to turn over to my other side, i am always asking myself if it is because i am going into labor. not yet. my contractions still aren't very strong or regular enough to deliver this baby. which makes me wonder if my body can even do it. i thought that i would feel some real but sporadic contractions by this time in my pregnancy, but no. so disappointing. man i wish she would come already. maybe she thinks that i don't quite have everything together and is waiting until i am more organized to come. well, if that is the case i will be pregnant for the rest of my life, because i know of nothing else i can to to prepare for her.

oh and for all those who are wondering about the mederma scar cream, i really think i am seeing improvement in the size and color of my stretch marks. (don't throw up please) they seem to be fading slowly but surely. the directions said to continue using it for eight weeks on new scars. eight weeks will be up march 17th, but i will probably continue to use it for a while after that with some skin tightening lotion. any suggestions?

hopefully i can "bounce back after baby". that, by the way, is the name of the third blog i started for myself. it is a joggers blog for pros and newbies alike. they have a calendar for each person and have you set up short term and long term goals and your reasoning behind them. i am not going to tell you my time frame in fear of not reaching my goal, but i will tell you the things i plan to do in my life in terms of running. run a half marathon, full marathon, and run a triathlon, and maybe to one or more of them more than once. i don't have any eating goals to go along with them because if you know me at all, i love to eat and i know i wouldn't be able to stick to something that punishes me like a diet. i'll eat healthier, but not go on a diet. my plan is to pretty much be a dang hot mama!

Husbandly Love

kyle works every other saturday and yesturday was a working day. he gets off at four, and when he came home i happened to be grocery shopping with jen. i got home around five and he had left. when i called him to see where he was, he said that he couldn't tell me because he was buying my valentines day present. when he finally got home, he wanted me to open it right away instead of waiting for the 14th. i asked him if he was sure, and he was. my baby got me a hp laptop! i coundn't believe it, i was so excited. we were going to get one for christmas, but thought that the money would be put to better use by getting my car paid off sooner.

i was so surprised to see it on my kitchen table. then, as i started to open everything, i thought about how he had been talking about that fact that he was going to need a laptop and a new phone for his new job. the stinker, he really got it mostly for himself and used valentines day as an excuse to buy it. when i called him on it, he confirmed it with a smug smile saying he had figured out "man's secret of gift giving. buy something that you really want yourself" and i add to that "something you really want yourself that you might have a difficult time sharing in the future" right now, he is sharing just fine, but i can see in the future him not sharing 50-50. i really don't mind kyle buying a gift that he will use just as much as me, i just like how he called it my present. i've already caught him refering to it as "my laptop". i just have to laugh, he is so cute and funny.

but he is not always funny. the other night, i asked him if he liked the name "brooklyn" for a little girl in the future, and now he likes it better than "addison". he has tried to convince me to switch to that name now. kyle says that when i'm in the recovery room, he is going to sign the name papers with either felicity (a name he loves and pictures for a littel girl with flowing red hair), addison, or brooklyn. i told him that i'd kill him if he did something like that behind my back. he thinks this is hilarious and that he is so funny and clever.

well, obviously i still haven't gone into labor yet. i am very disappointed. i am terrified that the baby gains several ounces every minute and that she will be a miniature elephant when she finally arrives. i hope i have continued to efface and dilate since tuesday. i have had random contractions that don't feel very strong and are not painful at all. i don't know if these would be called "braxton hicks" or not since i am so close to delivery. i do also have very dull cramping every once in a while that continues to became more frequent. i heard that that is a sign labor is near. baby continues to move all the time and the only painful movements are the ones that are straight down. they're not too painful at all, but i like to think of them helping me to efface more.
well, kyle needs me to get off the laptop because he needs to use it. he is so funny!

Dr. Appointment Shockers

so i went to the dr. tuesday with my mom and kyle. i had an ultrasound - those are so fun - and we were able to confirm it is a girl. (what a relief after having a baby shower for a girl). we wanted a confirmation because at the last ultra sound they said their best guess was a girl since they couldn't get a good look. so addison it is. we were also told that their best guess for weight was several oz over 8 lbs. i wanted to die, and kyle let out an excited YES! if he likes big babies, maybe he should have them, but he didn't agree with that idea. personally, an eight pound baby is really scary. maybe i should back out and say "just kidding, i'm not quite ready." but i'm too excited to meet my daughter. crazy i can say that. my daughter. i'm gonna be a mom any minute!

my dr. also checked me to see if i had dilated at all. that wasn't the most comfortable thing, but i guess i should get used to not always being comfortable. i was told that i was open 4 cm and effaced 80%. i was totally surprised and excited to hear that. only 6 cm and 20% effacement to go. until then i'm waiting at home, hoping i dilate as much as possible. i've been reading and a lot of women are in tremendous pain just dilating to 2 cm. i'm really lucky, no pain yet.

The End Is Drawing Near

yea! i am so excited!! i was over at carson and jen's when the doorbell rang. i went to answer it and saw a u.p.s. truck driving away through the window. i opened the door and what do i see? one graco box, staring at me! i told jacob and isaac that they should be so excited for me and once i explained the contents of the box, they were genuinely happy for me. each of them was a helper taking the box to my place in the guest house. who know a stroller/car seat could be so heavy? they helped me open the box and unload the contents and told me how i should put it together and how of course their dad could do it when he got home because he can do anything. i had to agree.

so kyle thinks that now that i have everything we need for the baby - the stroller was the last thing - he says i should be done with the nesting phase of cleaning out all the drawers in our house and organizing everything. i tried to explain that i am a little o.c.d. and have done this my whole life and that it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. but he is convinced, if only for his own sanity, that i will only be like this in preparation for the baby. little does he even know, i'm just getting started. (although i have to admit, i have been going into overdrive the last month of pregnancy and will return to my normal o.c.d. self once i have the baby.

speaking of baby mckay, have you seen how big she is inside of me? go and take a look at the widget that counts down the days for me near the top left of my blog. only 16 today. wow! it's so amazing. i can't believe something that big can fit inside my tummy. can't wait until i can finally meet her. and even though this might sound crazy, i don't feel scared or nervous about the birth. it just doesn't seem real to me. why not? you mean since i do have this crazy big belly that twitches every few hours or less, how is that not real enough? i dunno, but i'm probably in for the greatest shocker of my life. can't wait!

this photo at the right shows how i see my belly everyday. isn't it huge?! it totally looks fake in this pic.

It's All About the Baby!

on the 22nd of this month i had my baby shower and it was too much fun! i had friends come that i hadn't seen in a while and all the family that could make it. i have a huge family when you put both sides together, it's quite fun. the food was excellent and displayed beautifully - thank you to everyone who brought something and jen for decorating so cute. we had a leaf salad, chicken salad croissant sandwiches, lemon squares, brownies, chocolate cake, nuts and candy, a cheese ball, and fruit and veggies with dip. it ended so fast. i'm so glad for all who made it a huge success! i had a great time with great company.

Pregnancy Blubberings

so pretty much kyle and i are cheap and love to be frugal (although he wouldn't agree that i am frugal because he complains about my grocery bill). kyle gets excited and makes us budget worksheets that are followed for a while until we forget about them and then he'll get excited and make another. we hardly ever go out to eat, mooch off our parents all the time - because hey, what else are they around for - and i used gift cards from our wedding to buy all of kyle's christmas gifts.

so when this past saturday came around and i suggested we go maternity clothes shopping, i was kinda surprised when he was okay with it. we headed out to the chandler mall and stopped only in barnes and noble book store before going to motherhood. i have always dreamed about being pregnant since i was little and loved playing with my baby dolls. i even was video taped trying to nurse my cloth baby doll by lifting my dress and placing her on my chest. now that i am really pregnant, i love dressing up and showing off my very pregnant belly. but, it's so hard to love being pregnant in non-maternity wear. well, i do have some, but they are a limited supply. because i have grown so huge in the last month, i was down to only four shirts for a seven day week. in fact, those four shirts aren't even maternity, they're baby doll style so they fit fine. i am tired of stretching out my nice non pregnancy cloths.
back to shopping. so we walked into motherhood and took everything off the clearance and sales racks that were size small. kyle was so sweet and helped me try on everything and put all of the hangers back on, something i hate to do. i asked him while trying on more shirts if he hated shopping and if he was wanting to bolt of of the store and he told me it wasn't his favorite thing, but he was ok and liked being with me. that sure made me love him a lot more.

we picked four items from the first go-around of the store and then went for a second. kyle probably thought there was no more to find and try on, but i found just as many shirts the second time. kyle was passing a rack and saw a dress that he fell in love with for me and insisted i try it on too. when we left, i had two new shirts and the dress kyle found - he wouldn't let me leave without it even though i went to buy shirts. he gets so funny sometimes. it made me laugh.

the next night, we ended up going over to grandma brown's and i got some more cloths from courtney. you may think i am dumb because i only have three and a half weeks left, but who doesn't want to look cute in the last inning? plus i have my shower coming up. and i plan on having another baby in the not too distant future.

maderma scar cream. i heard that it works for stretch marks so i bought some today and all i can say is that it had better work. i paid $23.57 for a 1.76 oz tube. i was so mad when i saw the price, i almost didn't get it. i text kyle and told him the ridiculous price and he said to get it. that's how bad he wants my stretch marks gone. remember how i said i got really big this last month? yeah, stretch marks. when people would ask me if i had any, i would say no because i could only see the upper half of my tummy. one night, about a week and a half ago, i got a hand held mirror and was so mad to see what looked like three little scars on the right side of my tummy, just below my belly button. i don't even want to say how many i have now, probably more than triple that first amount. and not all of them are staying so tiny. makes me want to cry. hopefully the mederma works.

Baby Update

so kyle and i got married and then two and a half months later - bam- we're preggo! so after the shock wore off, we got really excited and looked into baby names. we came up with damon lee mckay for a boy or addison grace mckay for a girl. looks like the "mccleve curse" lives on because it's a girl! we couldn't be more thrilled. this is my first belly shot. at the time i could tell a difference, but looking at the picture now, i don't even look pregnant.
the day we found out it was going to be addison grace mckay!!look at that belly GROW! addison moves around all the time for (lucky me at two o'clock in the morning) but almost never when i want kyle to feel. she's going to be a momma's girl, i know it.