FINALLY! The Wait is Over

we have our beautiful addison grace mckay!! (yes it did turn out that we with with addison even though kyle created a facebook group to get people to vote for their his favorite name, brooklyn). here's addy's story.

like i said, i had my membranes stripped on tuesday morning. i had many contractions that didn't get me any closer to having her. i was scheduled for an induction at seven thirty wednesday morning, but got a call around five saying that they were too full and they would call when they had room for me. i was pretty disappointed, but with kyle still so sick i thought that heavenly father was just trying to make it work out for the best for him. then i got a call just before three pm from the hospital saying that i could come in.

we arrived forty five minutes later and while we were waiting to be checked in, i walked the halls to try and speed labor up myself. i figured it just made sense since my body had done a pain free job of dilating so far.

i was checked in around five and hooked up to the monitors. i had to get my blood taken - which terrifies me because i hate needles. then they stuck me on my other arm and waited until they had given me a whole bag of fluids before they started me on pitocin at seven to make my contractions become serious business. it didn't affect me for a half an hour. i remember feeling the first contraction that wasn't painful, but really just more pressure and tightness. i was excited to feel what everyone called labor, but i knew that i would eventually ask for an epidural.

my contractions came and went for about forty five minutes before i talked to the nurse and asked her if my contractions would get a lot worse. i knew that if they didn't get too much more intense i could handle it without medication. (my thought in the middle of labor is if it doesn't get worse and i don't need medication, that would be a cool thing to brag about.) the nurse just smiled and told me the pain was going to get much worse. BRING ON THE EPIDURAL.

i had to wait about 15-20 minutes before the anesthesiologist was available, so of course that made the contractions seem much longer and more painful. but she finally showed and kicked everyone out except kyle and my nurse. when i get nervous or am in pain, i tend to make jokes about myself to try and make myself feel better. the nurse sure seemed to think i was funny, but i never felt too much relief until the epidural kicked in. it took about 30 minutes for it to take full affect. but don't worry, my contractions got lighter and lighter, and ten minutes into it, i didn't feel pain. modern day medicine is amazing. that's what i kept telling everyone.
after that, some of my family left and the rest of us fell asleep, with the nurse coming in every so often to fix a monitor, up the pitocin, or check dilation. poor kyle was so tired and let my mom do all talking for him (he still had sores in his mouth) and eventually went to sleep and let her do everything for me. at about 2:10 am, summer - my nurse - turned on the lights and woke me up to tell me that i was dilated to a ten and that my water had broke. after that, my sisters were kicked out, kyle was woken up, and nurses were everywhere. my mom got the camcorder ready and kyle grabbed the camera. i asked to have a mirror so i could see everything. (you have to understand that i have been waiting for this for years - reading pregnancy books and watching the birthing channel, there was no way i was going to miss this.)i started pushing with the nurse. it was crazy, the whole time i thought, "this is really it, i'm going to meet my baby. i'm the one having the baby this time, me". i was in shock. it was surreal, the whole experience. i could hardly believe it was happening, addison was finally coming. the nurse had me push for a few minutes and then called the doctor. he asked me to push when he got there and then said "whoa, whoa, stop!" in the mirror i watched him catch/pull her as a contraction pushed her out for me. (only thirty minutes of pushing and only 1/2 push with the doctor). then she was on my tummy screaming and i couldn't stop staring at her. i was in shock. she was my daughter. seconds ago she was in my tummy where i had known her to be for nine months and now i was meeting her face to face. i felt like she wasn't really mine and that the real parents were going to come and whisk her away. everything about her was amazing, but i mostly loved that she was a little part of me and a little part of kyle. i immediately noticed she had kyle's mouth and my eyes, swollen as she was. she was beautiful.

just a quick look at the facts:
name: addison grace mckay
born: thursday, february 19, 2009 at: 3:21 am
weight: 9 lbs 7 oz height: 21 inches
hair: dark brown

recovery for me has been great, although my mom thinks that i just have a high pain tolerance. i can sit down now (yeah!) and can walk at a decent speed (woohoo!). can't wait to heal up the rest of the way so that i can enjoy my husband and brand new baby girl to the fullest!

Time Is Ticking...

well, i still haven't had my baby girl yet, but maybe that's not a bad thing. on thursday night (feb 12) kyle got sick with a fever, backaches, chills, and a sore throat. every night since, he has steadily gotten worse, until finally on sunday he broke out with white looking chicken pox all over his tongue, gums, and lips. he can't eat anything salty or surgery because it stings his sores so bad. he is so miserable. if i had had the baby already i would've been scared to keep her at home with kyle being so sick. she is much safer inside my tummy. maybe addison and heavenly father know best when she needs to come.
but still, i went to the doctor today at noon. i am at least 5 cm dilated - probably more like 6 cm he said - and effaced like tissue paper. he told me i am ideal for delivering right now. so i got my membranes stripped and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning at seven thirty. i just have to make sure that the hospital isn't too full before i go. i have been having contractions since, closer than usual, but they aren't painful at all meaning they probably aren't the kind i need to put me into labor.
i really feel torn about going into labor right now. i want to so bad, but this is such a special time and i want kyle to be there feeling great so he can enjoy every minute of our first baby. i could be going walking and things to speed it up, but i feel so bad that kyle can't be part of everything. he just now told me though that he is feeling a lot better. (he has been taking prescription medication for strep throat as well as advil). he also just said that if i have the baby tomorrow, he thinks he'd be okay.
so i'm going to go walking right now with my mom, in hopes to start something for tomorrow. can't wait. wish me luck!

If Your Kisses Were Wishes

So this is how the story goes. Brittney is always giving me a hard time because she says i don't write her any poetry. i don't know where she got this idea because I wrote her one poem when we were dating and then from then on its like she expects me to write her poetry everyday. i don't know about you but i'm no Shakespeare and poetry does not come to me naturally. So about a couple of months before Christmas I started a poem for her, but put it aside thinking i would have a lot of time to finish it. Now and again i would pull it out make some changes and wait for inspiration to hit. i had about 2 stanzas done and it was a week before Christmas. Time was ticking and I was waiting for my inspiration. 2 days before Christmas, i was at work and my inspiration came. i wrote the rest of the poem at work between calls and i didn't have to make any changes i was so pleased with it. So I printed it on a nice piece of paper, rolled it up and tied it with a nice ribbon, and put it in her stocking Christmas eve. The next morning she was pretty excited. So here it is. (p.s. you husbands out there have my permission to copy it and give it to your wife's for v-day, trust me, they'll love it)

If Your Kisses Were Wishes

If your kisses were wishes

Then I'd wish to retire

So I could always be with you

And give you all your hearts desire

If your kisses were dollars

Then a rich man I'd be

I'd buy you the whole world

And we could live comfortably

If you kisses were notes

For you a concerto I'd compose

That had a sweet melody

Made of harps, violins, strings and bows

If your kisses were colors

Than in the sky so blue

I'd paint you a beautiful rainbow

With every color of every hue

If your kisses were stars

Then space would be filled with light

There would be billions and trillions

With no difference between day and night

If you kisses were roses

Everywhere seas of red would grow

They would fill the driest deserts

And blossom in the coldest winters snow

If your kisses were wishes

Then the one thing I'd wish

is in the very next moment

To give you a KISS!

I LOVE YOU BRITTNEY!!! HAPPY EARLY V-DAY!!!!!!

Some More Blubberings

every night i have vivid dreams and i know that i have had an increasing amount of dreams since i got married, but i think they have become even more real since i became pregnant. in the last month, i have had the most bizarre dreams that wake me up and i find myself asking "was that real, or did i dream that too. some of my dreams are about having baby addison, or going through the delivery, and others are just crazy and about people i haven't seen or talked to in a long time - some of them in years. last night was no different. i was tossing and turning and finally woke up to go to the bathroom. (for those of you that don't know, i am extremely lazy when it comes to my sleep and will do anything to prolong getting up. even if it is subconsciously.)

when i laid back down, i thought i was having contractions and asked my self if i should stay up for them to see if i could feel anything. i decided that i would rather sleep. (see what i mean about laziness?) i wasn't woken up at any other time during the night by a contraction, so i know that i only asked myself that question because i am so ready to have contractions and go to the hospital in labor. ugh! i hate waiting. i love being pregnant and have had no problems, but i am so darn curious of what my baby will look like and how she will act that i can't wait to meet her.

since i wake up regularly at night to go to the bathroom or to turn over to my other side, i am always asking myself if it is because i am going into labor. not yet. my contractions still aren't very strong or regular enough to deliver this baby. which makes me wonder if my body can even do it. i thought that i would feel some real but sporadic contractions by this time in my pregnancy, but no. so disappointing. man i wish she would come already. maybe she thinks that i don't quite have everything together and is waiting until i am more organized to come. well, if that is the case i will be pregnant for the rest of my life, because i know of nothing else i can to to prepare for her.

oh and for all those who are wondering about the mederma scar cream, i really think i am seeing improvement in the size and color of my stretch marks. (don't throw up please) they seem to be fading slowly but surely. the directions said to continue using it for eight weeks on new scars. eight weeks will be up march 17th, but i will probably continue to use it for a while after that with some skin tightening lotion. any suggestions?

hopefully i can "bounce back after baby". that, by the way, is the name of the third blog i started for myself. it is a joggers blog for pros and newbies alike. they have a calendar for each person and have you set up short term and long term goals and your reasoning behind them. i am not going to tell you my time frame in fear of not reaching my goal, but i will tell you the things i plan to do in my life in terms of running. run a half marathon, full marathon, and run a triathlon, and maybe to one or more of them more than once. i don't have any eating goals to go along with them because if you know me at all, i love to eat and i know i wouldn't be able to stick to something that punishes me like a diet. i'll eat healthier, but not go on a diet. my plan is to pretty much be a dang hot mama!

Husbandly Love

kyle works every other saturday and yesturday was a working day. he gets off at four, and when he came home i happened to be grocery shopping with jen. i got home around five and he had left. when i called him to see where he was, he said that he couldn't tell me because he was buying my valentines day present. when he finally got home, he wanted me to open it right away instead of waiting for the 14th. i asked him if he was sure, and he was. my baby got me a hp laptop! i coundn't believe it, i was so excited. we were going to get one for christmas, but thought that the money would be put to better use by getting my car paid off sooner.

i was so surprised to see it on my kitchen table. then, as i started to open everything, i thought about how he had been talking about that fact that he was going to need a laptop and a new phone for his new job. the stinker, he really got it mostly for himself and used valentines day as an excuse to buy it. when i called him on it, he confirmed it with a smug smile saying he had figured out "man's secret of gift giving. buy something that you really want yourself" and i add to that "something you really want yourself that you might have a difficult time sharing in the future" right now, he is sharing just fine, but i can see in the future him not sharing 50-50. i really don't mind kyle buying a gift that he will use just as much as me, i just like how he called it my present. i've already caught him refering to it as "my laptop". i just have to laugh, he is so cute and funny.

but he is not always funny. the other night, i asked him if he liked the name "brooklyn" for a little girl in the future, and now he likes it better than "addison". he has tried to convince me to switch to that name now. kyle says that when i'm in the recovery room, he is going to sign the name papers with either felicity (a name he loves and pictures for a littel girl with flowing red hair), addison, or brooklyn. i told him that i'd kill him if he did something like that behind my back. he thinks this is hilarious and that he is so funny and clever.

well, obviously i still haven't gone into labor yet. i am very disappointed. i am terrified that the baby gains several ounces every minute and that she will be a miniature elephant when she finally arrives. i hope i have continued to efface and dilate since tuesday. i have had random contractions that don't feel very strong and are not painful at all. i don't know if these would be called "braxton hicks" or not since i am so close to delivery. i do also have very dull cramping every once in a while that continues to became more frequent. i heard that that is a sign labor is near. baby continues to move all the time and the only painful movements are the ones that are straight down. they're not too painful at all, but i like to think of them helping me to efface more.
well, kyle needs me to get off the laptop because he needs to use it. he is so funny!

Dr. Appointment Shockers

so i went to the dr. tuesday with my mom and kyle. i had an ultrasound - those are so fun - and we were able to confirm it is a girl. (what a relief after having a baby shower for a girl). we wanted a confirmation because at the last ultra sound they said their best guess was a girl since they couldn't get a good look. so addison it is. we were also told that their best guess for weight was several oz over 8 lbs. i wanted to die, and kyle let out an excited YES! if he likes big babies, maybe he should have them, but he didn't agree with that idea. personally, an eight pound baby is really scary. maybe i should back out and say "just kidding, i'm not quite ready." but i'm too excited to meet my daughter. crazy i can say that. my daughter. i'm gonna be a mom any minute!

my dr. also checked me to see if i had dilated at all. that wasn't the most comfortable thing, but i guess i should get used to not always being comfortable. i was told that i was open 4 cm and effaced 80%. i was totally surprised and excited to hear that. only 6 cm and 20% effacement to go. until then i'm waiting at home, hoping i dilate as much as possible. i've been reading and a lot of women are in tremendous pain just dilating to 2 cm. i'm really lucky, no pain yet.